Holding On Vs Letting Go

The perpetual query on how long should I hold on or keep going hoping and working towards making things work or should I let it go? And when it comes to relationship it becomes a bigger dilemma to let it go. However it looks like this dilemma is more because we don’t want to be looked upon or labelled as “Quitter”. Quitting is again being looked upon as a negative trait especially in world where many are just harping on don’t give up or keep persuading be it relationship or your dreams or that job etc.

With every breath that we take in we also breathe out. We just cant keep holding on that breath forever. We have to breath out so that we can take in fresh oxygen. If something which so relevant for our survival than why are we so worried about letting go the other stuff specially the emotional experience? While breathing we can’t keep either only breathing in or holding the breath or breathing out, there is system designed and if followed the body & mind reaps the benefits of it. Similarly when it comes to how much to hold on and when to quit there is a systematic approach to it.

Before getting into the systematic approach first lets know what is letting go in true sense. We usually use this term in relationship, goals, our dreams or incidents. For example say we are in a toxic relationship so we look at it as letting go the relationship. Here we are actually not letting go the relationship as that is a generic term. We are going to get in other relationships in future so it is not that we are letting go the relationship. What we are letting go is the toxicity that is generating in us by distancing ourselves from such person. Now the questions comes is at what point do we make a choice of letting go? Lets take the same breathing example and as you read this do this activity along to get a first hand experience of it.

Activity:

Just be seated comfortably, relax and release all the tension if any in your arms , legs , shoulder and jawline.

Now take a deep breath and keep breathing in.

You are already reading this line so I guess you have already breath out too. Now I would like to answers these questions:

1. Till what point could you keep breathing in ?

2. At what point you felt you could not take in anymore ?

3. At what point did you feel that you need to breathe out ?

4. How did you feel after breathing out?

Yes, you are absolutely right your body indicated you at some point while breathing in that this is it, it is creating some imbalance in your body and you moved to the next step. Had you not shifted to the next step it would have had an adverse impact.

Now the question comes is how were we able to make that choice. Yes our body gave us an indication but we were able to act upon it because we were there in that moment with full awareness, we acknowledge the signals sent my our body and acted upon it as per what made complete sense in that moment.

Did we asked anyone that should I still

Keep breathing in ? Or is it ok if I breathe out now ? Did we punish ourselves for not being able to hold on to that breath for long ? The answer is NO. Then when it comes to letting the emotional experiences or any goals or dreams why do we worry so much? The same yardstick can he used for this too. Everything that we hold on to or let go has a cost and reward attached it. If we just bring in our awareness and see what is the cost we need to pay and reward we can get by either holding on or letting we can get our own answer. Also, at times we just hold on as we don’t know what will we do if we let it go. Hence we keep hanging on and create more stories around it so that we do not need to focus on what can we do to grow as an individual. There is nothing right / wrong , good or bad about it. It is all about making a conscious choice in that moment. It is about how is it benefitting me to grow as an human being.

CHOICE IS OUR …