Taking Charge or Control

It was Saturday and instead of going home on that weekend we friends were to stay back in hostel as we all had the driving test that day. I was just 19 back then and nervous and anxious. How will I do it ? Will I remember all the instructions and pass? What if I fail this test ? And with all these thoughts I reached the RTO to give the test. We all were assigned one officer each and were anxiously waiting for our turn. “You are next” said the lady and in no time I was in the drivers seat accompanied by the uniformed officer. It was time to take charge and show my skills. I did everything as per what I had learnt from the driving school. Phew!! Nervousness was finally turning into ease and in no time the test was over. And as I switched off the power the officer said “ You did a good job. Can I ask you something ?” Promptly came the “Yes”. He asked me “Why were you holding the steering wheel so tightly?” I said I just wanted to ensure everything is in control and I clear the test. And I did not realise I was holding it too tightly. He continued and said something which was like early lesson in Management, Leadership and in Life. “If you hold the steering wheel too tight it will stop the swift movement. Hold it lightly so that the space is created for the steering wheel to move swiftly and you will enjoy driving.” What the officer said stayed with me for a long time and which also raised questions for many areas in life too. Can we just look at our life and see how many areas are such where we are holding it so tightly and want to control it for better but the end result is not the way we want it. Also are we enjoying the process? Be it managing your team at work, relationship , parenting , friendships , profession. Are we creating that space where movement can happen? By holding the steering wheel as tight as I could I was not taking charge of driving. I was merely trying to control the steering wheel. Some questions to ponder upon: As a Team leader are we taking charge of what needs to be done or are we merely controlling the team members and their movement ? As Parents are we taking charge of the relation with the child and his/ her growth or are we merely controlling the child’s actions for getting the desired results? In relationships are we taking charge of experiencing things and growing and getting connected or merely taking control of the other persons actions, what needs to be done or not done? There are certain outcomes which I have observed when I take charge or control.

Taking Control Taking Charge

Stress & Anxiety Creativity & Participation

Closed Mindset Open Mindset

Avoidance Acceptance

Communication Issues Better Understanding

Strained Relationships More Connectedness

Blaming Others Ownership & Accountability

To control or take charge, it’s a choice we have. There is nothing right or wrong. What matters is am I growing or limiting my growth.